Journeys of a Pregnant Virgin

It's Saturday afternoon, almost 4 pm, and I am packed and ready to fly. Mark Knopfler ("Dire Straits") is serenading me with "Your Golden Heart" and I feel he is singing to me. "Nothing in the world prepared me for, your heart, your heart, Nothing in the world that I love more your heart, your heart, your golden heart." Sung deep and mellow, with wonderful acoustic guitar and drums. I love the gruff tenderness and soulful eros of his voice. In fact, discovering his solos albums, "Sailing to Philadelphia" and "Golden Heart" was actually a high point of these six weeks in Zurich. I think I've listened and danced to "What It Is" at least two or three times every day since I first heard it. (If I was not seriously computer challenged I could probably find a way to create a link to those two songs but that's a whole other story....)

One of the strange ironies of life in my two little rooms in Zurich thus far has been that although Steve and I both love music, I actually listen much more here than in Vancouver. I also dance more here. Maybe that will change in the next few months at home. In fact, I wish there were far more occasions to dance to rousing music with a good strong beat, and although every time I express that desire it meets a strong echo in other people's experience, none of us can quite figure out what to do about it. All I know is that the older I grow, the more my body wants to dance with abandon. And just dancing alone in my room isn't enough - I want the shared experience as well.

I did my ritual goodbye-to-Zurich walk earlier this afternoon but did not go into Spruengli for a last coffee, preferring to come back to my room instead. Last night Vicki cooked me a lovely goodbye dinner and we talked for the last time in a while. Hers is quite a different experience of Zurich as she has basically moved here for a couple of years and returns home to New England only for shorter visits. At times yesterday I felt uncomfortably liminal - as if I literally had one foot in Zurich and the other already in Vancouver.That's quite a stretch. The upside of my Zurich adventure is the richness of having both lives at once and I have been aware of my great good fortune in not having to give up either. But yesterday I also felt it's not easy to be forever saying hellos and goodbyes in a relatively short span of several months, each time leaving behind something dear and important and integral to my life. I'm not complaining but this is also part of my psychic reality at the moment, along with the richness of it all.

At the moment the sun is streaming into my window so brilliantly that I can hardly see the computer screen, and I can almost feel the warm breeze of a beautiful day in June as I sit on the balcony upstairs and read my Jung texts. Now there is something I look forward to, during my next period here. Last summer I could not find a place to sit in the sun, undisturbed, and read.

But now - it's home to Vancouver, Steve, and my other world, much more outwardly active than these quiet three months in Zurich have been. It has felt like a hibernation of sorts, but unlike the bear who shuts down in the cold of winter and lives off his fat reserves, I have chocolated my way through the weeks and look forward to more physical activity and energy as spring draws closer. My dreams seem to be pointing in this direction as well, so I will keep looking for times and places to dance. And perhaps I'll even see you there!

That's all for now, friends. Again I leave these lines with gratitude and appreciation for this part of my journey and will return at the end of April when I resume my time in Zurich.

Until then, stay warm and cozy, and Happy Spring to all.