Journeys of a Pregnant Virgin

Another week has passed, my fourth in Zurich, and each one seems to be passing more quickly. Indeed I just realized that I have had only one day off in the past twenty one, and this coming Wednesday will be my first day without any lectures, seminars, or interviews - in seventeen days straight! This is a little more than I bargained for when I arrived, although I could certainly do less if I wanted to. I did reach a point several weeks ago at which I decided that my criteria for what lectures and seminars to attend would be that I either had to be passionately interested in the topic, or to feel that they addressed a real gap in my knowledge of Jung. Any lecture or seminar that does not fit into either category could be missed. I think it is a good measure of how I can use my time most productively here.

Now that my Admission interviews are over I should feel a little less crowded and perhaps even manage to get to a concert before I return to Vancouver in two weeks. I did finally get out for dinner this week with Frederique, my friend from Paris, and we had a wonderful,juicy rousing catch-up visit over pizza and red wine. It was wonderful to visit away from ISAP and just be two women with strong similar interests and feisty, irreverant, and opiniated perspectives on some of the inner workings of our training institution and professional colleagues. Enough said. I realized how much I'd missed that kind of rapport with another crusty dame!

My too-busy schedule combined with very cold temperatures and some snow yesterday have meant I have also been far too sedentary in the past couple of weeks. I've been missing my long treks through the streets of Zurich but on Wednesday, my precious day off, I'm planning a long walk and wander, ending up perhaps at Spruengli in the late afternoon. Then Thursday will be the worst marathon ever, with twelve hours straight of lectures and seminars. (For those of my friends who are interested in the subject matter, my day begins at 10 am with a seminar on Individuation and Mysticism. At noon I have a planning meeting with two other students for a presentation in our 2 pm Typology seminar, followed by a dream seminar at 4 pm, then a lecture on Introduction to Psychiatry at 6, and an accompanying seminar at 8 pm. Of course I could skip the last two sessions but they will definitely deal with a major gap in my knowledge so I will go unless I am simply too knackered - I'm exhausted just listing them all! This sounds too much like I'm complaining, however, and I want to add that I also look forward to my first weekend off after that, with two and a half lecture-free days!)

Today was a day of Psychodrama in the form of Fairy Tale enactment, although we are again sworn to confidentiality. Rather than risk breaking my promise I will say only that I found it amazing and profound again, just as I did last semester. The experiential dimension is such an important and playful addition to all our verbal and book learning at ISAP. But the emotional dimension leaves me drained at the same time.

I am reflecting again on my lack of beautiful quotes to offer here, but the problem is simply that I have not had time to read anything but the pages required for various classes. Then again, I just recalled some lines by Marie-Louise von Franz that struck me as lovely and true.

"One can only help people to the best possible attitude, but it needs a miracle to heal the deep wound so that [they] can stretch out [their] hands when the waters of life bring the cure."

What a beautiful image - to stretch out our hands in faith that the waters of life will flow over them and heal us.

And - "People blossom in the surroundings of a woman who is in the right relationship with herself, because then she is rather like the positive mother-goddess who makes corn grow. But if the relationship with her own inner self is wrong, she is more likely to emanate the effects of the death goddess Hecate, and put a blight of death over those around. It is interesting to watch the effects one has rather than one's deeds."

Of course it is not always easy to find the right relationship with oneself. But what a worthy intention to carry in one's soul. I can't think of anything more important.

And so, happy to have found those lines again, I will sign off for now, with best wishes to all who enter here.