Journeys of a Pregnant Virgin

I've just returned from my last walk along the Bahnhofstrasse to Paradeplatz in the hot sunshine and into (air conditioned) Spruengli Cafe where I had my favourite combination of mango sorbet and chocolate ice cream, and a cafe creme, and jotted down some thoughts about my semester in Zurich. Leonard Cohen is crooning "Dance Me to the End of Love" as I write this and I feel liminal. But it's a good feeling. I got up early and scrubbed and polished (I never clean quite this meticulously at home!) and then moved a box of books and a large bag of miscellaneous items into the basement storage room at ISAP - I must be coming back. Now I have room in my two big suitcases for the ten pounds of chocolate I'm importing to Vancouver (I'm not kidding). Not that we can't get basically the same chocolate in Vancouver, but I like the idea of bringing it from Switzerland, serious chocoholic that I am. I always take chocolate on the last afternoon of each Intensive summer course and this year it will be Lindt rather than Ritter Sport.

Now Leonard and his chorus are singing "Hallelujah" and that pretty much expresses how I feel today. I am feeling back to myself for the first time in ten days, and let me tell you, I love having my energy back. It also sums up my time in Zurich quite well. I have lived two years' worth of experiences during these three months, and I feel richer, deeper, humbler, and perhaps a little wiser for it all. This is also the longest period of time I've spent in Europe for twenty years and I've loved that too. It surely helps to speak the language - I felt a bit of a helpless fool in Paris although Yvonne managed for both of us - although at times I was actually the only person in a seminar (including the facilitator) whose first language is English (technically mine is actually German but that was fifty years ago).

I have enjoyed the leisurely afternoon and will round out the day with a final Proprioceptive Writing period tonight. When I arrive in Vancouver my other life will be waiting with all its joys and responsibilities, and I do not expect to be writing here for a while. To all who have accompanied this Pregnant Virgin throughout her Zurich journey, my thanks for your companionship, both known and unknown, and my best wishes for a wonderful summer.

And so - goodbye for now - from Marlene.

I'm back. From the beautiful south of France, but also from a period of time that stretched me in many ways. As always, what happened in the weeklong course must stay contained (which is to say confidential) but suffice it to say that it was a difficult week. It was also a profound and moving week. The Body Soul Writing participants worked at a deep level and some of the writing that emerged was achingly honest and quite beautiful. Ursula and I both gave all we could of ourselves - body, soul, and love - in our teaching, and Yvonne and Gill did the same with meals and accommodation. And that is all I will say at this time.

Back in Zurich after the overnight train from Toulouse where I lay claustrophobically close in a couchette compartment for six women and slept fitfully through the night as the highspeed train sped and rocked its way back to Geneva. There must be a better way! I'd forgotten how cramped those little spaces are.

After sorting, packing, and cleaning my way through the afternoon, I hope to have some time tomorrow to relax and perhaps visit Spruengli for a final coffee in the afternoon. My friend Gabi from London is in town tonight but I knew I was too spent to catch up on all that has happened in both our lives and will save that for when she and Mustafa are in Vancouver in September. Emerging out of a relentlessly busy and extroverted time over the past three or four weeks and heading into a solid month of teaching Intensives, I need the time to find my way back to center, and to reflect on all that has happened. When I am involved only in outer work I lose myself and that is not a wise or comfortable place to teach from. I begin to feel frantic and desperate for solitude, so tomorrow will be my day to reflect on this three month sojourn in Zurich, and to contemplate on what it has brought me.

I think this entry is a little quiet and maybe even a little sad. But there is no question that I am looking forward to returning to Vancouver, the arms of my beloved, the blue and green curves of Kits beach, and sunny weeks of writing Intensives at UBC. One thing I have come to realize is that three months is too long to be away. If I do continue with this training program (and I do plan to) I will find ways to limit my time away to six or eight weeks at a time, no longer. My main life, it is clear, is in Vancouver.

I won't start singing "Leaving On a Jet Plane" just yet because I may decide to write a final "Goodbye to Zurich" entry tomorrow. But that's all for now.